


Iris and Fitz Get It On

by Gallifrey_Immigrant



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who: Eighth Doctor Adventures - Various Authors, Iris Wildthyme (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: F/M, Fonda Iris, Fourth incarnation of Iris, Heterosexual Sex, Jane Fonda - Freeform, Slightly tipsy Iris
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 23:29:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9520850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gallifrey_Immigrant/pseuds/Gallifrey_Immigrant
Summary: Iris needs to get laid, and Fitz happens to be available. Unfortunately, the Doctor managed to make it awkward, even though he's not even there.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Set during, and spoilers for the Eighth Doctor Adventure "The Blue Angel".

Iris poured herself another drink, wondering why she always got herself into horrible adventures that ended up messing up her day. Iris always knew dealing with the Corridors would promise a whole lot of pain. The ensuing conflict was inevitable, but Iris had been hoping to drop in and drop out, maybe taking a few minutes to kiss the Doctor on the cheek (and other places),reminisce about old times, and then let history take its time with the Corridors. Instead, her red bus was now flying inside the gaps between realities, as she and 2 of the Doctors companions got dragged along for the ride. There was no knowing when it would get to the exit, or if it ever would. Bah.

For now, her ship was on autopilot, so all she could do is wait in her room. She took out a mirror, and glanced at herself, looking at the smoothness of her face, and her sharp green eyes. Her blonde hair was cut to just above shoulder length, and her pink metallic cat suit tightly covered her body. Her cat suit showed more of her form than she had done in her last body, but it helped in the adventuring lifestyle. Fitting around tight spots was much easier with this on. And to be fair, it did make her feel sexy to show off some curves, though she didn't plan to make a habit of it.

Most of the time, Iris would have felt vain looking at herself, but this was a new body. That made it curiosity instead, or at least that's what Iris told herself. Anything that distracted her from the knowledge that the Doctor was probably out fighting for his life right now, was worth it to Iris.

One of the Doctor's companions walked into Iris's room. She recognized him as Fitz. A not unhandsome bloke, wearing a leather jacket, who looked like he used to be part of a second-rate rock band in the 80s. She could tell this whole experience frightened him, and wondered whether he was a newer companion of the Doctor's. Either way, Fitz was more fun than the ice princess, Compassion, downstairs. Iris didn't even mind the way he looked at her pink cat suit occasionally when he thought she wasn't looking.

"How close are we to getting out of...wherever we are?" he said, waving his hands lazily at the blue pulsating walls of the Corridors outside the bus windows.

"No idea. Don't worry though, my old bus knows what she's doing. If there's a way, she'll find it," said Iris.

"*If* there's a way? Feel better already," said Fitz, rolling his eyes. His complaining reminded Iris why she didn't have companions as of now. It made the bus quieter, if lonelier.

Iris sighed, and put her hand mirror back in her bag. Out the side of her eye, she caught Fitz ogling her bottom again. She smirked, wondering if Fitz would have had the same reaction to her more elderly bodies.

Cooking her head back at him, she said innocently "Why are you looking at me like that, love?"

Fitz splattered, and turned red. He said "Uh, well, I was just thinking how you look a lot like, uh, Jane Fonda. You know, the actress."

"Ah, yes. She was a spy created to impersonate this incarnation and implicate me in the destruction of the Fine China Black Market in 1959. After foiling her master's plots, I spared her life. And now she's gone on to become a sex symbol! With my body! I'm not sure whether to be honored or disgusted," said Iris.

"I think you should be honored. I mean those scenes in Barbarella were definitely something. I've seen them quite a few times," said Fitz. Then his face fell, as he realized what he said, and what he implied, was at best awkward.

At this point, Iris had a few choices. She could either slap him, thank him for his "compliment", or ignore the comment.

And then another choice came to her. She looked him up and down, realizing he was quite handsome, in a young sort of way. A small part of her calculated that it had been a while since she had slept with anyone, and she hadn't done it in this body at any rate. And there was an taboo thrill with being intimate with the Doctor's companion.

And thus, Iris made a choice. She quickly poured herself another drink. This woman needed to be a teensy more drunk before going through with this.

"I mean, not like that. Wait, you said incarnation. Are you, like, a Time Lord?" said Fitz.

"Yes," said Iris. Fitz's eyes seemed to bug out.

"Does that mean you used to be, like, an old wo--?" said Fitz.

Iris decided to cut him off, before the boy said something he would regret.

"Yes. But now I look like Jane Fonda. In every single part of my body. Which I'm sure you've been wondering, because I see the way you look at me, love. Do you want to get a closer look?" said Iris. She slinked over to him, grasping his jacket, and grabbing his face close to hers.

"I, um..." said Fitz.

She grabbed his hand, placing it on the zipper of her suit. She guided it down, letting his eyes roll over her slowly uncovered breasts.

"Well, um, I mean, aren't you and the Doctor supposed to be..." said Fitz. His mouth was watering.

"Open relationship, love," said Iris. She kissed Fitz on the mouth, tasting him with her tongue. He slowly relaxed, pulling her catsuit off her body.

When their lips finally parted, his eyes were wide. He was in a trance. But she could sense a slight level of resistance.

"But, Compassion's below. She'll hear," he whispered.

"Soundproof walls," Iris lied. "And would you really let that stop you from getting the chance to shag Barbarella?"

That did the trick. Soon, Fitz was tearing Iris's clothes from her body. He was kissing her ravenously, and she had the feeling she wasn't the only one who hadn't gotten laid in a while. He kissed her lips, stopping down at her neck, and then traveling down to her breasts. His technique was clumsy, like most young lovers, but he made up for it in enthusiasm. Sighing in pleasure, she unbuckled his pants, ready to show her own enthusiasm. As she blew his mind, so to speak, he seemed to be in heaven.

"Oh, Doctor!" said Fitz, smiling.

Iris stopped immediately.

"Huh?" said Iris. Fitz looked like he was just as surprised as she was.

"What? N-nothing, " said Fitz, who grabbed Iris's bottom, and kissed her, clearly hoping she would forget. Iris decided to let it go, both because she had heard weirder (Maid Marian told Iris that Robin had once called her "Sheriff of Nottingham" repeatedly in bed, which she still didn't understand ), and because Fitz was now doing something far more interesting in between Iris's legs. She pushed his face further inside, her skin tingling all over.

Soon, Iris, for lack of a better word, was riding Fitz like her life depended on it, and Fitz was making his pleasure very known, and not caring who heard.

"This is the best adventure the Doctor's ever taken me on," said Fitz dreamily.

For a brief moment, Iris wondered whether it would feel this good being with the Doctor. She had managed it once before,when he had the celery, but hadn't gotten any taste of his velvetted body. Good as Fitz tasted, the Doctor's lips would be far sweeter, and although Fitz wasn't bad for his age, he couldn't hope to compare to the centuries of experience that the Doctor had (and would never admit to). It made Iris hornier just to think about it, and she squeezed Fitz's thighs even tighter.

"Oh, Doctor!" said Iris huskily.

"Yes, Doctor!" cried Fitz.

They stopped moving simultaneously. They stared at each other. Fitz's face looked both confused and embarassed.

"You know, I don't even care how awkward this is," said Iris, and they kept on going for a long time.

When it was over, Fitz and Iris were entangled on the floor. Fitz stared at the wall, trying not to say the obvious.  
.  
"There's nothing wrong with fancying the Doctor, love. It's easy to get dragged into his orbit," said Iris. She felt his chest squirm underneath her.

"Yeah, but he's an alien. I've fancied guys before, but he's less a guy, and more...a thing. He doesn't think like the regular bloke" said Fitz.

"I'm an alien too, love. Don't let my pretty face fool ya," said Iris. She felt serious, which annoyed her, because she was supposed to be feeling post-coital bliss.

"Yeah, but I can at least understand you. The Doctor's like a tidal wave. It feels wrong wanting to shag a tidal wave," said Fitz.

"Just let yourself get swept away. He's often got his head up his arse, but he's probably the only man I could ever love," said Iris.

"I don't think I feel that deeply for him," said Fitz, frowning.

Iris peered into his eyes. Apparently, she peered too hard, cause her stare seemed to frighten him. In his eyes, she saw a look she recognized. Unrequited desire.

"I think you do, Fitz. You just might not know it yet," said Iris.

This was pissing her off. She was dispensing words of wisdom to her lover, like some cougar. You weren't supposed to feel old and wizened after sex. Flinging herself off him, she rummaged in her bag for her psionic wand. It was a gift from some friends who traveled in a flying restaurant, only supposed to be used in emergencies, but she could bend the rules for this.

"We're not going again?" asked Fitz, looking hopeful.

"Of course we are," said Iris sweetly, and then blasted him with the wand, wiping his memory, and knocking him unconscious. She found Compassion downstairs, glaring at her.

"If you're going to do it again, would you mind being quieter?" said Compassion.

Iris blasted Compassion with the memory-wiping device. Walking back upstairs, she washed herself in the bathroom, dragged Fitz's naked body into the bathroom, threw his clothes in, and closed the door. Getting dressed herself, she placed the wand back into her purse.

Iris would have preferred not to have mind wiped Fitz, but she had a reputation to keep. She didn't trust Fitz not to blab to the Doctor, and she didn't need Fitz worrying if Iris would blab. She considered wiping her own memory, but decided against it. It actually had been a rather enjoyable experience, and worth remembering.

Fitz walked out the bathroom, confused. Iris smiled sweetly.

"I just had the weirdest dream," said Fitz. He blushed.

"Hope you enjoyed your nap. You got black-out drunk in my bathroom. Get downstairs. We should be landing soon," said Iris. She kept her face as neutral as possible.

Fitz scratched his head. "Why was I naked? And I smell...weird."

"No idea. Take a quick shower," said Iris. She paused, and said "That dream...did you enjoy it?"

Fitz blushed even redder, and said "Can't remember a lot, but I think it's one of my favorite dreams yet...Definitely in the Top 5."

He walked into the bathroom. Compassion walked up, with her arms folded.

"You know that wand doesn't work on me, right?" said Compassion.

"Oh. Well then, please don't tell him. It got awkward, and you know how it can be," said Iris.

"No," said Compassion. From the way she said it, Iris had the feeling Compassion had never "known how it can be", and had no intention ever to.

"You won't tell, right?" asked Iris.

"I'm not sure why you did it with him, in earshot of me, if you didn't want him to know. But I won't tell. I don't really care, to be honest," said Compassion. She walked back downstairs, leaving Iris to think about her own decision-making.

Iris checked the bus scanners. It was still no closer to the exit. It would take a long while to find a part of the nexus that allowed them to leave. As she heard Fitz sing in the shower, she checked her wand's charge. It still had enough charge to do at least one more mind-wipe.

Iris looked at the half-open door where a naked Fitz was washing himself, and made a choice.

Ten minutes later, Compassion, who was reading one of Iris's books ( _My Life As A Trans temporal Adventuress, and Part Time Jazz Musician_ ), and was busy catalogueing all the spellibg and grammar errors in a passage on the Sontarans' attempted murder of Miles Davis. She was doing her utter best to ignore Iris's repetitive moans, mixed with Fitz's cries of "Oh, Doctor, just like that!"

"So, these are the wondrous adventures I joined the TARDIS for," muttered Compassion.


End file.
